Like any form of rehabilitation, there are steps involved. The drug and alcohol addicts have 12. If steps were relative to cause, I think a broken heart should have an infinite amount. However, I have narrowed mine down to 5. Now enter the mind of love bipolarity.
Here they are:
1) Denial : This is where that certain someone feels the need to constantly remind you of how upset they are or vice versa. This is the worst of all steps because in this step, you are not seeing the reality that you need to get rid of that fucker and move on.
2) Anger : This is where you start to refer to your ex as "fucker", "asshole", "ingrate" and so on. This phase is better than denial because being angry is better than hoping he or she are still around.
3) Sadness : This step sucks and must be quickly be overcome by the relapse of step 2. Stay away from the sadness!
4) Anger : Yes, we are revisiting anger. Like I said before, let him or her feel sad. You can stay angry. Feeling sad doesn't do anyone any good. At least being angry so kindly reminds you of all the awful things he or she did - or at least, you convince yourself of all the awful things. You do not want to put the ex on a pedestal - especially if they are the breaker uppers.
5) Acceptance : This is where you realize it just didn't work! The anger has passed hopefully, for you, your family and friends' sake. The sadness transforms into a state of ok-ness. Nothing is good. Nothing is bad. You're just okay. Life still fucking sucks in this phase but there is no where else to go but up - that is, after you sway from step 1-5 several times - and I promise you that you will. Unless of course, you are superwoman and have no heart.
To all of you with a broken heart, keep your heads up and remember. There are more of you than you think and we will all get through it.
Believe in yourself and anything is possible.
Now, if only I could listen to my own advice.
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